


Overclocked

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Juris Imprudence [16]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 09:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6652711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: <i>Stargate: Atlantis, Evan Lorne, he really is a robot.</i> Cam Mitchell gets definitive proof.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overclocked

Cam stretched and stood up. He’d just spent an hour and a half staring down a response memo to a frankly ridiculous motion for custody and visitation by non-relatives post-adoption and his eyes were starting to cross, and also he was just so mad at opposing counsel that he really wasn’t thinking straight. What he needed was a break. Coffee. Maybe a stroll around the corner to that cupcake boutique. They had these little lemon cake-bites that were delicious and also perfect to keep in the refrigerator as a handy snack, because Rodney couldn’t eat them, and John would avoid eating them for Rodney’s sake, and everyone else had the sense to not touch Cam’s food.  
  
He stepped out of his office and looked around. The entire science department was gone, Sam and Rodney and Zelenka up at the state capital at the federal courthouse, duking out a patent infringement case. Most of Janet’s med mal team was gone, too, at the hospital for depositions.  
  
Quiet days were much appreciated, honestly. Cam was still recovering from the Great Wednesday Nerf War last week when Vala, who’d lived an odd and sheltered but otherwise wild life, discovered Nerf guns and thought she could take on Teal’c.  
  
Cam had to backtrack and grab his mug before he headed for the break room and the welcome scent of coffee, and when he turned back around he saw Lorne doubled over at his desk, dangerously still. Cam watched him for a moment. Was he moving? He didn’t look like he was breathing. Was he all right?  
  
Cam started toward him. “Lorne, are you okay?”  
  
“Just fine, sir,” Lorne said, his voice muffled. He was hunched in on himself.  
  
“Do you need me to get Carson?” Even though Carson did personal injury law, he, too, had gone to medical school. Having two doctors on hand was incredibly useful.  
  
“No, really, I’m fine. I was just feeling a little off - processing speed a little whacky, processor a little overclocked maybe? - so I just need to make a couple of adjustments and I will be fine.”  
  
Cam blinked, confused, but then there was a snap, like a plastic lid closing on a tupperware, and Lorne set aside a small screwdriver.  
  
When he turned around in his spinning chair, he was buttoning his shirt with quick, deft hands. He straightened his tie (Harry Potter-themed, red with gold lightning bolts) and smiled at Cam. “Did you need something?”  
  
Cam stared at the little screwdriver and the honest-to-goodness red blinking beneath Lorne’s white button-down shirt, some kind of red LED.  
  
“Sir?” Lorne asked, sounding concerned.  
  
Cam dragged his spinning mind back under control. “No. Nothing. I was worried about you. Glad you fixed your, um, processor thingie. Gotta go. Man needs coffee.” And he sped into the break room.  
  
As soon as he was out of Lorne’s earshot, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket and called John.  
  
“John, I know we’ve been having a lot of fun, making bets about whether or not your paralegal is a robot, but seriously, he is a robot, and I’m kind of freaking out. _Call me._ But not where he can hear.”  
  
In retrospect, the smarter thing to do would have been to just call John and lay down more money on Lorne actually being a robot. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Teal’c and Vala sneak by, pick up a screwdriver and red LED from Lorne, and head back to their cubicles.


End file.
